Time. There’s never enough time. Not enough time for my kids, my marriage, myself. Lately I’ve found myself parceling out the evening hours from when we get home from work to when the kids go to bed into categorized chunks: snack, play with my daughter, play with my son, make dinner, try to eat dinner together, bedtime routine(s).
Young children perceive time differently. They don’t know what five minutes means, let alone an hour. I envy that. To get caught up in a moment or lost in a task or game is such a delight.
Time never moved so quickly before kids. There were lazy Sundays spent lounging in pajamas and watching hours of football and old movies. Things could happen on their own time.
Time-out. A disciplinary tool or a chance to catch your breath? We all need a moment to ourselves sometimes. So do our kids.
Time to go. Maybe we need to relax and stay a while. Let go of our schedules, our timeline, our internal alarm and truly enjoy a single moment in time.
He’s six months old and this is the second time we’ve done this so, piece of cake right? Not exactly. I don’t think it is ever easy to drop your child off at daycare for the first time.
And I’m one of the lucky ones. I had enough vacation and sick leave to take nine weeks paid time off and then went back to work part time for a few months. (Only in America is this considered lucky, but I digress). And my husband was able to work part time also so that we didn’t have to put our son in daycare right away and my husband was able to bond with him.
And yet I am close to tears knowing that today was the last weekday morning I’ll spend with my little man. I kissed his head a million times and took in that sweet baby smell as I checked off the boxes on his daycare supply list.
Theoretically I’m more prepared this time. I’ve got 42 personalized name labels, a large stash of frozen breast milk and this baby actually takes a pacifier. But there’s still that gnawing feeling that I’m not doing the right thing. That I might miss something. That he needs me.
But I like my career. And our daycare is one of the best in our area and we love the teachers there. It’s a place of warmth and creativity where our daughter is thriving. Not to mention it’s only a few blocks from my office and I can stop in anytime to nurse him or just check on him.
I can only imagine how difficult it must be for parents who have to leave their children in less than ideal situations in order to work to provide for them. I really am one of the lucky ones. And having done this before, I know one thing for certain. The first day is hard, but it does get better.
We’ll take it one day at a time. And who knows? I might not even cry this time.